Phil Villarreal is hilarious:

I can’t figure out exactly when the film “10,000 B.C.” is set, but it’s definitely ancient times. Like before they had cars, guns or tabloid blogs. And definitely before they had cohesive plots or dialogue that made sense.

But at least there were sabertooth tigers, mastadons and togas, and at least most of the people knew how to speak English, even if they did so with medieval Scottish accents. The tribes which were too dumb to have invented English yet speak their own crazy gibberish languages, but at least the filmmakers translated it with subtitles, so we could learn “Agllabogatttarangaba” means “Oh No! I’m being impaled by a sabertooth tiger’s saberteeth!” Which is really helpful.

I’ll be glad when they stop advertising that movie because I won’t have to shout, “OMG they so totally did not have ziggurats in 10,000 B.C.E.,” at the TV.

And then maybe, with time, I’ll eventually become attractive to the opposite sex again.